My sweet TorriLyn

I cannot begin to describe the week I have had this past week. To say it has been an emotional roller coaster does not do it justice. I went into Utah last weekend to see my big brother, Lonnie. It was kind of like a mini family reunion since my dad and three of my siblings were there too. It was a hard weekend but it was much harder to leave him Sunday. It breaks my heart into a million pieces every time I have to say good-bye wondering if it will be my last. I hate living so far away!

Monday, I spent the day moping around and feeling sorry for myself and him. I wish that I could fix things or make him better. However, I know it is in the Lord's hands...it is not for me to decide when or what happens now. I just get the job of somehow learning to come to terms with the decision and to try to mend the gaping hole in my heart.

Tuesday, I awoke to the phone ringing. It was Russ telling me that TorriLyn had been in a car accident. He had very little information except what someone from the scene of the accident had told him. They said TorriLyn was hysterical and not making sense. They had suggested she let them call someone to see if that would calm her down. She was complaining of head, neck and back pain and she could not open the drivers side door. It sounded like she was in shock but at that point we didn't know the extent of her injuries. We found out later that an older couple had pulled out into the median and for some reason accelerated right into Torri. She didn't have time to slam on her breaks or react to try to avoid them.

She was taken to the ER by the paramedics where X-rays and tests were done. The Doctor told her she has a traumatic disk compression in the thoracic region but there is nothing they could do for her besides, give her pain medication and send her home to rest. She is to follow up with an Orthopedic surgeon this week for an MRI and more tests. TorriLyn wanted to come to my house so I have been tending to her needs and squeezing her tight every chance I get.

I am painfully aware of how fragile life is and that I need to hold my family close to me. I feel like a basket case today since deep buried emotions are coming to the surface. The thought of losing another member of my family is just more than I can take. I have been telling my husband since May, "I can't handle ONE more thing." Surprisingly, there is always one more thing waiting around the corner for me to handle.

I am wide awake tonight and my mind won't stop thinking of "What ifs" and "Why me's?" When I get like this I have to try to divert my attention to happier times. I have been trying to do some photo editing/journaling/scrapbooking. I usually stay away from blogging when I am having a pity party but I thought I would blog some pictures from TorriLyn's wedding just 2 short months ago. We just picked up the wedding disk from the photographer last Thursday. There are over 455 pictures for me to choose from.

Here are a few of my sweet TorriLyn walking out of the temple as a new bride. For a minute tonight, I just want to remember the happiness & excitement from that day and remember all the wonderful people that came to support her. It was an amazing day and for a moment, all was right with the world.